Stupid Human Suit: Balancing Act of Lucidity and Pain

Bad night. Pain reduced me to tears again as I waited for the pills to kick in and knock me out. Still hurting this morning.

Stupid human suit.

Doctor’s appointments have become a cocktail of anticipation-dread-fear-relief. Wanted to be clear-headed, sans painkillers, until after my appointment today, but that’s not really an option. Need the narcotics to blunt the pain in order to be functional. Glad I did all my prep and question assembling for today’s appointment yesterday.

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22 Responses to Stupid Human Suit: Balancing Act of Lucidity and Pain

  1. Liz Jones says:

    Sending lots of wishes for speedy and effective treatment your way. Keep us posted… :o(

  2. Eugie, I hope it goes (went?) well. You are amazing to handle all of this with such grace and strength.

  3. R Skye says:

    All my feels; as a chronic illness sufferer this is a common conundrum – 1) be painfree or 2) be able to put a coherent sentence together. We only get to pick one.

    My empathies. Fight on.

  4. Teresa Howard says:

    Lifting you up today. Hope the doctors apt. goes well. Pain meds are a double edged sword. Stay strong.

  5. Amazing… You’re going through all of this but you take the time to be prepared and organized. Eugie at her finest…

    • Eugie Foster says:

      Thanks, sweetie. I dunno about “finest.” This is more like “triage”: I have my list of questions. Whether my socks match and I manage to match the buttons on my shirt properly…bit of a coin toss.

  6. Eugie Foster says:

    Thanks, sweetie. I dunno about “finest.” This is more like “triage”: I have my list of questions. Whether my socks match and I manage to match the buttons on my shirt properly…bit of a coin toss.

  7. Teresa Bigbee says:

    So sorry you felt so bad last night. You’re doing the right thing writing down your questions though. It helps to have someone else with you as well to write down the answers. Hopefully, your treatments will start soon and will help with the pain.

    • Eugie Foster says:

      Thanks, Teresa. Matthew’s been coming with me to all my appointments to help me keep track of all the information and to make sure I don’t get lost en route, also, of course, for essential moral support.

  8. Don’t sell yourself short. I have the socks/buttons issue ever day ;-)

  9. EVERY day… see, issues…

  10. Cassy Gordon says:

    Hope all goes well at the docs today! I forgot to mention, you might want to record your talk with him/her today. Sometimes, being shell-shocked doesn’t make for effective listening. I think it would be helpful if you had it recorded so you could go back and listen to it later. *hugs!*

  11. Still praying for you Eugie!

  12. Eugie Foster says:

    Cassy: Yep yep. Matthew comes with me to all of these appointments, both to make sure I don’t get lost en route and to help with data retention (he’s in charge of hitting the button).

  13. Sending love… ♥♥♥

  14. Scott Hancock says:

    Each step forward into the tunnel of pain, is one more step on your way through it, and then out of it. Pull the pain up in front of you, look hard at it, study it intimately, and so knowing it, then compartmentalize it, decide to set it off in its own little space, let it rage off in a small corner of your mind, never quite forgotten, but consciously ignored. And push on, take that next step forward, and then the next. You are stronger than you know.

  15. Janice Clark says:

    I hope this one follows the previous cycles you described, ending with relief. Too bad you can’t get to that point without going through the rest. *hugs*

  16. Jeri Klein says:

    I think you just coined your best selling memoir. Can I preorder?? :)

  17. This is not fair. But it is your life. I wish I could help.

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