I had a bout of free-floating doldrums last night. Experienced an overwhelming and irrational desire to have a meltdown during the story NBC aired before the Olympics Closing Ceremonies on Lt. Vernon J. Baker receiving the Medal of Honor. It was a good story, poignant and thought-provoking, with elements of heart-wrenching, but not the sort of thing that ought to have reduced me to tears.
As it turns out, I did manage to refrain from doing a Chernobyl, although I couldn’t pull myself out of my mood. I ended up slumped on the couch, wallowing in my emotional disequilibrium, and then retreating to an early bedtime.
At a loss, fosteronfilm sat on the couch, just holding me (after several failed forays into trying to cheer me up) until I fell asleep. It was the perfect (and only) thing he could have done to help. I have a great hubby.
I seem to be over it now, but it makes me wonder if I’m still dealing with SSRI withdrawal. Or, more worrisomely, if I should consider going back on them.
I’ve been putting off checking on my eligibility for the John W. Campbell Award since the eligibility rules changed last year–mostly in a fit of confusion-induced procrastination. But as I was surfing around the other day, I discovered that the nomination deadline was in a week and a half (March 10th), so I bit the bullet and emailed the moderators.
They’re being conservative on determining eligibility during the crossover period between old and new rules, so it appears I am indeed eligible this year. I sent them my bio and bibliography to list on their official “Eligible Authors” page. It’s unlikely I’ll make it on the ballot, especially at this late date, but it’s a pretty thought.
Anyone planning on going to WorldCon (L.A.con IV)?
– 38-day pass from Escape Pod on a reprint with invite to send more. Stephen liked it, but didn’t think the story was quite right for them. I had some doubts myself, as the story is quite dark and has some tricky tone switches, so I’m not surprised.
– The crits continue to pile up for “Honor is a Game Mortals Play” (thanks basletum!) and I’m officially behind on my Thank You notes.
I am eligible and made a half-hearted attempt to get nominated but since I knew I had no shot at winning (He writes gay porn! Porn!) so I never followed through with emailing my info.
Steve, you are way too derisive and dismissive of your own talent and accomplishments! You’re a fantastic writer and a fabulous editor. And what’s wrong with porn? I like erotica.
It’s not too late to get your name on the Eligible Authors page. You should do it. *nudge nudge poke* Don’t make me get the cattle prod out!
Nah, I’m resigned to being unknown.
“- The crits continue to pile up for “Honor is a Game Mortals Play” (thanks basletum!) and I’m officially behind on my Thank You notes.”
You’re welcome 😀
“As it turns out, I did manage to refrain from doing a Chernobyl, although I couldn’t pull myself out of my mood. I ended up slumped on the couch, wallowing in my emotional disequilibrium, and then retreating to an early bedtime.”
I’ve had a few irrational mood swings, myself, lately. I’ll just blame it on the weather. Yeah, the weather, that’s it. Eh, February has never been a good month for me, memory-wise, anyhow. Hope you get to feeling better.
Will a razzberry cheer you up? :p
Yeah, blame the weather! Down with nature!
Hope you feel better and hope you do not have any more spontaneous emotional meltdown death spirals. Oh, to know what triggers (and how to avoid) irrational downward spirals!
I do feel better today, although there’s an oppressive lurking sensation happening that suggests I am not free of my emotional disequilibrium. Lemme stress again how underimpressed I am by my physiological made up.
I’ll be a WorldCon. And yes, if you’d published your eligibility earlier, people might have nominated you… 😀
At least it’s only my first year of eligibility so I’ve also got next year to wave around my “Eugie for Campbell” sign.
L.A.Con sounds like it’ll be an absolute blast. I so wish I could go. But at least I can smush my nose against the glass–window, monitor, whatever. Take lots of pictures so I can experience it vicariously through your LJ!
At least your are crying over something real. I watched The Joy Luck Club last night and had to listen to my hubby making fun of me while I sobbed uncontrollably.
You want to hear something weird? Werewolf stories make him cry. Hah. I feel somewhat vindicated.
I’ve seen The Joy Luck Club something like half a dozen times now, and it ALWAYS makes me cry. I like that sort of crying. It’s very, I dunno, cathartic or cleansing or something. Although yes,
teases me mercilessly too. Mean ole menfolk.
Cool, Eugie! :hugs: You know I’d vote for you anytime!
Sorry about the depressed meltdown. Those are awful. :hugs again: Hope you feel better today!
Thanks, sweetie. I do feel better today. I still get periodic blah waves coming in, but they’re mostly ignorable.
Yeah, the mood switches are bad little fellows–had a case of them about two years ago, and thankfully family and friends were on hand before it got too bad. Hope you feel better soon.
My thoughts exactly.
It’s never too late. At the very least, I still have my ballot for the Hugos (two of them, actually, since my boyfriend is letting me vote for him). Now I know who to put in for the Campbell 🙂
Sadly, I’m not going to WorldCon this year, because the US is too far too expensive for me. But I went last year to Glasgow and had a blast.
“At the very least, I still have my ballot for the Hugos (two of them, actually, since my boyfriend is letting me vote for him). Now I know who to put in for the Campbell 🙂“
“Sadly, I’m not going to WorldCon this year, because the US is too far too expensive for me. But I went last year to Glasgow and had a blast.“
The only WorldCon I’ve been able to make was Chicon in 2000, and that was before I’d started writing seriously. Since then, their dates have always overlapped with Dragon*Con, and now that they’re not conflicting anymore, I can’t afford to go. Snartleblast!
Hmm. I wonder if it triggered something deeper??? A memory long lost perhaps?
Sometimes my mood just goes very dark. Scary dark. It’s like a hole I plunge down. But I like to imagine ropes that will pull me out….a great hubby (if I had one, I mean), journaling, rest, snuggling with a skunk, 10 tons of chocolate, whatever.
Hope you are ducky today. (((Hugs!)))
“I wonder if it triggered something deeper??? A memory long lost perhaps?“
I dunno. While there was plenty in my childhood which I consider dreadful and traumatic, I seem to remember all of it in crystal-clear detail. My brain seems to be of the “quit whining and get over it” mentality (pardon the pun) and straight out refuses to shelter my fragile psyche with any useful defense mechanisms. Dammit.
Then again, if I did have a particularly distressing memory that I’ve managed to bury, it’s not like I would know it, huh?
I am eligible to vote! Yea, you get my ballot, kiddo.
Hugs graciously accepted!