There was much sleeping over the weekend. My caffeine addiction appears to have re-established itself too excess without me noticing it. My occasional “extra boost” cup of coffee has become part of my daily routine, an essential ingredient in my staying-functional cocktail, and I’ve begun to add onto that a second cup of java and/or a diet cola.
That suggests to me that my tolerance to the Adderall is ramping up, even with me taking weekend holidays from it. And on weekends, when I’m not on Adderall and not having my usual first-thing-in-the-AM coffee, I’m useless–either
dead-to-the-world asleep or slumped logy and apathetic on the couch. I obviously needed to catch up on some sleep this weekend, but I was also free-floating grumpy at fosteronfilm and headachy, both symptoms of withdrawal.
While on the one hand I’m glad I’ve got a workaround; I keep pumping in the uppers, and I can function like a proper human. But on the other, it’s just not healthy. And at this rate, I’m going to have to ask my doctor to increase my Adderall dosage, and I would really prefer not to be on more than I’m currently taking.
This is all so annoying, dammit. I’m going to have to wean myself off caffeine again . . . but not until after I meet the next couple hamster deadlines. Still, even while I’m fuming at the shortcomings of my human suit, I’m also somewhat awed by how chipper I remain (barring, of course, the occasional husband-oriented grumpiness). My emotional equilibrium remains pretty stable, unfazed by sundry physiological nuisances.
It’s the job. Day-to-day job satisfaction is giving me a buffer I never had before. Makes me marvel that I languished for so long at my previous day job, and makes me wish I’d had the courage to switch careers a long, LONG time ago.
Ah, well. A late life lesson is oodles better than one never learned.
– Crits continue to flow in for the Japanese fantasy up at Critters. It’s being well received (yay). I did get one crit which made me go “gah!” but not ’cause the critter didn’t like the story. On the contrary, she enjoyed it, and she singled out the title to praise–yes, the same title I’m wracking my brain over to come up with a suitable replacement. Sigh.
– 8-day glowing reject on a reprint with invite to submit again from Blood, Blade & Thruster. They loved the story, but thought its publication history made it too well known for them to reprint. Can’t argue with a rejection like that. But, but snartleblast!
– Contract from Hub for “Wanting to Want.” Signed and sent back.
– 500 words on the MARTA-inspired urban fantasy, tentatively titled “By Oak, Bramble, and Metro.” An odd phenomenon happening with this one. I seem to need to write it on the train. I sit and stare at the file at my desk, no words, no ideas, zip, but as soon as I get on the MARTA, the words come. #$%(*!@ Stupid muse.
2,000 / 5,000