New words: +500 and -600 on “Mortal Clay, Metal Heart.” And after my cursory editing pass, I saw lots of other trim-worthy passages. That’s sorta like progress.
Also, I think I need to rethink the title now.
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Nooo! I love that title!
“Ancient Clay, Metal Heart”?? Though I love what you have now. :))
Unfortunately, it’s the “metal heart” part which needs replacing. I actually found myself trying to come up with a plot element to make the current title fit, until I realized what I was doing. Of all the things I want to accomplish with this story, trying to get it to also suit the old title seems…of questionable merit, priority-wise.
I like it too, but after pulling the steampunk element, it’s not as appropriate. Sigh.
Damn! *steals title and runs away with it*