2014′s Resolution

This is normally when I look back on the spent year and reflect upon what I’ve accomplished and what I haven’t and then go on to set some goals for the new year. My focus has typically been on my writing, as that’s been the main goal-related emphasis of my energies, attention, and ambition for over a decade, arguably for most of my lifetime. But this year, my priorities are different. 2014 will be all about kicking cancer’s ass, taking back what it has stolen from me, and most of all, simply surviving it.

I’m finding, halfway through my chemo schedule, that I’m going through cycles of bleakness heading into each new round. The pain and exhaustion and sickness that accompanies the start of each cycle, the increasing mental fogginess–it’s becoming terribly easy to fixate on what I’m going through, which in turn makes me more inclined to wallow in the dourer possibilities and spiral into negativity and depression. And I realized I need to zoom out a bit. These upcoming months are not going to be ones to savor, not ones to stop and sniff flowers during; they’re something that must be endured and then put behind me.

So this year, my resolution is to keep looking forward, head up and eyes planted firmly on the horizon, and to maintain the certainty that I will get to that distant place up ahead. All this necessary unpleasantness will do upon me as it must as I forge along, with each step bringing me closer to a time when this will become something I went through–in the past and done with, albeit not forgotten.

Goodbye and good riddance, 2013. Bring it, 2014.

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16 Responses to 2014′s Resolution

  1. Oh, Eugie, absolutely best of luck for the New Year! x

  2. Stay strong and divide each phase or session as check points accomplished, and drive on (just as you have been doing).

  3. Jeri Klein says:

    You’ve got this!! *does bunny cheer*

  4. Anita Allen says:

    Helluva year. Glad it is behind you!!

  5. Janice Clark says:

    The ordeal continues, but you’re getting there. Don’t forget you have a whole big cheering section behind you. As long as you can keep putting one foot in front of the other, you’ll reach the point where you can look back and say “Yes, I did it.”

  6. Amy Herring says:

    You are an inspiration, my dear one. Here’s to reaching distant places and a nice bottle of bubbly to celebrate!

  7. Amy Herring says:

    You are an inspiration, my dear one. Here’s to reaching distant places and a nice bottle of bubbly to celebrate!

  8. You’ve reached the halfway point and are headed for the homestretch. Sending hugs. And the good wishes and luck I can grab from the universe and attach to this message.

  9. Teresa Bigbee says:

    You’re halfway there … while the treatments may take more of a toll now, you know there is an end point in sight. Allow yourself to wallow … get depressed and feel sorry for yourself … just don’t get stuck there. Sometimes we just need to validate these feelings in order to put them behind us and move on. Then on the good days stop and smell the flowers. Enjoy what you can … endure what you must and in the end it will all be worth it.

  10. You’re halfway there … while the treatments may take more of a toll now, you know there is an end point in sight. Allow yourself to wallow … get depressed and feel sorry for yourself … just don’t get stuck there. Sometimes we just need to validate these feelings in order to put them behind us and move on. Then on the good days stop and smell the flowers. Enjoy what you can … endure what you must and in the end it will all be worth it.

  11. You’re halfway there … while the treatments may take more of a toll now, you know there is an end point in sight. Allow yourself to wallow … get depressed and feel sorry for yourself … just don’t get stuck there. Sometimes we just need to validate these feelings in order to put them behind us and move on. Then on the good days stop and smell the flowers. Enjoy what you can … endure what you must and in the end it will all be worth it.

  12. Jeri Klein says:

    ^^yes!! Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Give yourself permission to embrace it. Then , and only then, can you let it go ,<3

  13. Jeri Klein says:

    ^^yes!! Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Give yourself permission to embrace it. Then , and only then, can you let it go ,<3

  14. Eugie, we’re thinking about you and focusing on good results. Every session behind you is one less you have to confront going forward, and it sounds as though you’re focusing on that. Anybody would be depressed and tired and sick, but as others have said, there is an end in sight.

  15. Kenny Soward says:

    All the luck in the world, Eugie. Looking forward to following your successful progress.

  16. Kenny Soward says:

    All the luck in the world, Eugie. Looking forward to following your successful progress.

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