Finished putting up the Christmas decorations. The house is all shiny and festive. Now to commence with the shopping . . .
My weekend Adderall “holidays” have become my weekend nap times. Also, I felt down yesterday–a free-floating and pervasive sense of doldrums. The Adderall has done more to improve my mental happy state than either the Prozac or the Effexor, plus it’s stabilized my sleep times. I no longer need to take daily naps. When I’m on it, I have normal circadian cycles. But I’m also pretty sure I’ve passed beyond “tolerance” and into “dependence” with the stuff. There are certainly worse things than being addicted to Adderall, but I dislike being dependent upon any drug–an inconsistent mindset, admittedly, since I’m totally dependent upon the Imuran to keep my Lupus flare-ups at bay. But it’s the psychological ramifications which concern me here. I felt a sense of relief going to sleep last night, knowing that I’d be back on my speed fix today. Something to discuss with my p-doc, I suppose.
New Words: 550 on “Arachne”
553 / 2,000