Spider-Man and the children from hell

Went to Spider-Man yesterday. Well, it was pretty much what I expected–colorful, adequately acted, predictable, and with questionable writing/plotting. But I mean really, is it only me (and Matthew) or does the rest of the world really subscribe to comic book ethics?

I enjoyed it more than Matthew, but it was still pretty vapid, vacuous, and frivolous. Light, escapist, fun. Yep.

The theater was packed with young ‘uns, though. I can usually tolerate children (although let me state for the record: ZPG! ZPG!) but there was this set of children from hell sitting right behind us. First, the older child creature talks and giggles loudly throughout the whole movie “Is Spider-Man flying?” “Daddy, Spider-Man’s flying!” but okay, I can mostly gate him out. But then the other child creature won’t sit still, so the female caregiver picks him up and holds him in her lap. Fine. Good idea. Restrain the little beast. Except she’s sitting behind me and with that child thing on her lap, it’s within kicking range of the back of my chair. I had to put up with [thump][thump] reverberating up my spine throughout the whole damn movie. That woman really needed to remove her offspring from the theater. Grr.

Children: Good for experiments. Attach the electrodes.

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5 Responses to Spider-Man and the children from hell

  1. I know what you mean with kids in theatres. Sometimes the parents bring their babies and they just have to cry at all the good moments in the movies.
    I can tolerate kids for only so long. Then they start screaming at the top of their lungs. It can suck at the gaming table. The worst is when I am looked at as the bad guy because I have low tolerance to kids. Anyway, hope ya have a good day.

    • Eugie Foster says:

      Ack! What are young children doing at the gaming table? Shouldn’t they be leashed off in a corner or something?

      But seriously, I don’t blame the children, I blame the parents. Most people shouldn’t breed. They obviously are not up to the task.

      • yakdog says:

        I blame the parents, too!

        I understand that even people with entire litters of offspring have the right to attend the movies. Fine. But there doesn’t seem to be any way to escape the little darlings. You’d think that a 9:30pm showing of Panic Room would be child-free, wouldn’t you…? I’ll let you fill in the details:

        Family of four, cell phone, 2 hrs. “bidness” calls, food, questions, squawking. Much loudness. Bah.

        I’m glad to read that you made it through the movie without losing your cool. :-)

  2. burgundy says:

    We had a squalling child all through the showing we saw. When I’m mega-rich, I will open a movie theater with an affiliated day-care center next door. And no children under 3 will be allowed into a movie. Ever. But they can be left at the day-care place. And I will offer child-free showings.

    What I also don’t understand is – why bring babies at all? Who expects a baby to enjoy a movie anyway?

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