I’ve noticed Adderall makes me more interested in the world in general. It’s like I’ve suddenly re-discovered having fun doing stuff I knew I enjoyed but hadn’t had the time or motivation to follow-up with anymore–nothing major, things like being more eager to take an interest in socializing and current events without the sense of forcing myself through the motions. I’m more inclined to put the energy into delving into my “now what’s that all about?” impulses which are what initially drew me to Psychology and the sciences. It makes me feel . . . younger. I think I’ve forgotten how much energy I used to have, how it used to be when I wasn’t tired all the time. Seems a shame that I need a drug in order to recapture that vitality and enthusiasm. Stupid deteriorating human suit.
Still having cycles of the sleepies. I do think the peaks and lows may be due to the “time release” effect. Took my 20MG XR dose at 9AM yesterday. Got feeling pretty energetic and peppy for several hours, then at around 11:30 had an onset of the yawns. Not a total crash, but definitely a surge of tiredness. Perked right back up about ten minutes later, though. Also continuing to maintain a sensation of hyper-clarity which isn’t unpleasant, but isn’t completely benign either. It feels like I’m being . . . stretched, is the best way I can describe it. Going to drop back down to 10mg today. It might turn out that 15mg is the ideal dosage, which would be irksome ’cause I can’t split the 10mg XR capsules.
I got an email from Jason Sizemore, the editor of Apex, forwarding on the comments and the illustrations of “Oranges, Lemons, and Thou Beside Me” (slated for issue #4) from the artist, Augie Wiedemann. Get this, the artist liked my story so much, he donated an extra illustration for it! When I read that, my jaw fell off, bounced across the room, and rolled under the table. An artist was so inspired by my writing that he was moved to create artwork above and beyond what he was contracted for! It totally made my day. I can’t display the illustrations without the author’s permission, but take my word for it, they absolutely rawk.
New Words: +100 – 100
Did editing passes on “The Better To . . .” while I re-think what I want to do with the ending. What I’ve got is tighter and cleaner, but still not at zero draft. There’s a definite teeth-pulling feel to this one.